In my early years I used to call
my grandmother mum and my actual mum by her name, Asedi. This was partly
because everyone (mum and her sisters) called her mum, and I kind of figured
that was her name, and they all called my mum Asedi (with her being the last
born). Anyway, Dorase Phiri (my grandmother) was quite instrumental in my
growing up. I spent three to four of my early years with her, and they were
quite essential in laying a foundation. Here are a few lessons she taught me.
God comes first
From a tender age, my grandmother
made sure I knew that God came first in everything and the importance of
worshiping him and going to church. She always took me to church, and I
remember watching her reading her Bible and singing hymns to God. When I was seven
years old, she told her friend that I was going to be a pastor one day! That
was way before I was even saved. And when I decided to answer the call to
ministry, she was the first person to respond with excitement.
God blesses us so that we may bless others
In her village Dorase Phiri was
among the high-class people; she had a higher standard of living than most. But
one thing that stood out to me was her willingness to share what she had and
help out those in need. As a young boy her generosity was quite annoying; I
wondered why we could not keep what we had for ourselves. After all we would
have more! For her, being privileged came with great opportunity and
responsibility. God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others.
Children should be disciplined
Dorase is a legend! She had no
problems instilling discipline. She had very high expectations of those under
her, and she made sure that children understood that they are to obey and
submit to the authority of their parents. And when one crossed the line, she
made sure she reminded you where you belong, and you stayed there. Two
incidents come to mind. There was a day I disobeyed her and decided to run away
from her. She simply picked up a whip and started following me at her own pace.
She then told me “I will follow you until you get tired and stop”. After a
while I realized it was in my best interest to stop because the distance
covered running away, would be the same heading back! On another occasion, my
friends and I bullied a young girl at school and grabbed her food. Her mother
came and told my grandmother, and she decided to come to the school! She asked
for permission from the head teacher to address the entire school during
assembly. I was called out in front, and she asked me to point out my partners
in crime; she walloped us in front of the whole school and gave a lecture about
good behavior and manners to everyone. One
thing is for sure, she did not spare the rod neither did she spoil any child.
There is no substitute for hard work
There is something about the
older generation and their love and attitude towards work. My grandmother finds
satisfaction from a hard day’s labor. Farming season meant work. We would spend
the whole day working at the farm. I hated it, and she loved it. While I was
complaining, she was singing away joyfully. Whatever she got involved in, she
did with all her might. She never did anything halfhearted, and she expected it
of everyone else. Even today when she is advanced in age and struggling with
health, she stubbornly wants to work.
The Lord has blessed my
grandmother with long life, and she has been able to see a number of her great
grandchildren. She has seen her own daughters become grandparents and has even
out lived some of them. For all her shortcomings, Dorase Phiri has a legacy,
and she has set some pretty high standards for all to emulate. Particularly in
her love for God and her parenting. Like Timothy I am grateful for my
grandmother.
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