I love my mum! We have not always lived together, but we have somehow been quite close. In fact we are so close that people think she is my elder sister—partly because we relate like siblings and partly because I am taller. I have had the privilege of being raised by several uniquely different ladies in my life (aunties/grandmother) and in the coming weeks, it is my goal to share what each of them has taught me. I begin this series of blogs reluctantly because it has the potential of going south quite quickly (family politics!). Nonetheles here is the first one, four lessons from my own mother- Asedi Chibuye.
Hard work is a good thing
My mother is a hard worker and is a firm believer in giving your best in everything you do. She is also particular about getting your hands dirty and doing manual work. I remember struggling with my school work in my second and third grades and not caring at all. After a term was over, she called for a “press conference” and made it clear to me in no uncertain terms that things had to change. And change they did, she became my tutor and made sure I put in my absolute best.
Laziness was not tolerated when I was growing up, and no work was beyond me. You were expected to clean up after yourself and do it well. And though I do not always put in my best in what I do, I am grateful I was taught to work hard because the Lord expects it of us.
Live at peace with all men
In my third grade, a classmate stole my first ever watch and cut off the strips. I loved that watch! A few weeks later, I caught him with it, and I was ready to beat him up before one of the teachers stepped in and asked us to call our parents. I wanted pay back! He needed to replace the watch and then had to be suspended. That to me, was justice! After the discussions, my mother was more concerned about the guy being helped out so that he can change, and so she offered forgiveness. I was livid! As we walked back home she explained to me that the boy’s character was more important than the watch and besides, we can always replace the watch.
One of the verses that was stuck on the bedroom wall was Romans 12:18 “if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” In a family with wrangles aplenty, where people not talking to each other is common place, mum always told me not to get caught up in the petty drama and live at peace with all men. Easier said than done!
Singing is good for the soul
Mum loves singing. I grew up hearing her sing. She sang when she cleaned the house; she sang when she did the cooking; she sang when she was just sitting. My wife wondered why I randomly break out in song and often loudly, then mum visited us; she had to contend with two people who sing anytime, anywhere and for no apparent reason. I learnt a lot of the hymns from her as I heard her sing them with joy every day I lived with her. And I must add singing is good for the soul. There is a reason we will do a lot of it in heaven☺
Discipline is not negotiable Mum has always been close and open with me. We laughed, teased and watched sports together. In fact, she is partly responsible for me being a soccer fan. All that did not stop her from instilling discipline. She loved order and set clear boundaries and would not hesitate to let you know who was in charge. She also made sure you recognized and respected authority. I see young people go at it with their parents and I shudder. I tried on one or two occasions to raise a one man rebellion, and it was crushed before it even started. I was sorted out for even entertaining the thought! Manners and order were important to her, and she drilled it in me. My shortcomings are a reflection on my character and not her parenting.
I love my mother, and I am very grateful to her for all the sacrifices she made to ensure that I turned out a decent person. There were times that I did not understand why she was being hard on me, and now that I am a parent, I grow more appreciative of the work she did and continues to do. I will be glad to be half the parent she was.
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