This is a third installment in a
series on the lessons I learnt from the women who raised me at one point or the
other. You will soon notice that there is an overlap on some of the lessons,
and as I highlight what I learnt from each one of them, it does not mean that’s
all there is to learn about them. It is a summary of my observation about them
and what I particularly learnt from them. The third person who played a role in
my upbringing is my auntie Elina Kambanji.
A heart to help people
Mrs. Kambanji is mum’s elder
sister and second born in their family. She in many ways was a mother to many
when growing up. She opened up her home
to her younger siblings and their children at different times throughout their
growing years. There was always someone in the Kambanji’s home that they kept.
Even the workers became family. Some of them even helped with education and
eventually getting a job. In fact, we nicknamed them the Lombados after a famous
Mexican soap opera that was popular in the 90’s on national television. The
Lombados were wealthy people living in a mansion with a lot of relatives. The
Kambanji’s residence was definitely like the Lombado’s residence in that
regard, full of people.
High levels of tolerance
My dear aunt is a live wire!
That is to say, she is not shy to speak her mind, and as you would expect she
has over the years rattled quite a number of people just as she has equally
been rattled as well. When you think of the things she has been told, and the
names she has been called over the years by both young and old, intentionally
or unintentionally, you would expect that she would hold grudges for life, but
alas, she has developed a thick skin over the years and has learnt to move on
or better yet to be tolerant. On several occasions, she narrated an argument
and laughed at the insults that were thrown at her!
Being industrious
When you think Mrs. Kambanji,
busy comes to mind, not aimless busy but productive. She knows how to work with
her hands and get things done. What is said of the woman in Proverbs 31:13-21
is probably the best description of her.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is
like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while
it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her
maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she
plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms
strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go
out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the
spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed
in scarlet.
The sanctity of marriage
The Kambanjis have been married
for 39 years. That’s almost 4 decades of unbroken marriage. In a family of a
few faithful marriages, these two have stood as a pillar and an example to many
of what an enduring marriage looks like. They have lived out the vows “for
better or for worse, in health and in sickness, for richer and for poorer…” and
they are still going and that without scandals. Although they are from the
older generation one thing that particularly stands out is their oneness and
closeness. Their marriage is unlike most where the right hand does not know
what the left hand is doing. It is actually quite hilarious to hear them
narrate their escapades even in their old age. What a breath of fresh air! The is a lot couples can learn from the Kambanji's.
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