The Implications of Friendships on Ministry and Missions

             “How can I develop meaningful relationships with the locals so that I can be accepted and welcomed among them,” a Western couple asked, during their orientation, weeks after landing on the mission field in Africa.. “You can’t” was an understandable but shocking response. Understandable because the ethnic and cultural barriers are enormous and near impossible to navigate. Shocking because shouldn’t Christians pursue gospel unity amid diversity? Doesn’t the gospel bring down these cultural barriers? Devastated at the prospect of having to live and serve among and alongside fellow believers without the prospect of meaningful Christian relationships, my friends went home sad.

            We are a product of faced paced action. We move from one program or event to another. We measure our success in terms of projects we have accomplished or programs we have successfully organised. People and relationships are simply part of the package that comes with our programs and projects. It is easier and less messy not to get too involved with their lives. It is costly and inconvenient. It will slow down your progress and then there is a chance you might have to start adjusting as you are confronted with your own lessons.

            So, in the spirit of the age, we prefer shallow and superficial relationships. They provide us with enough social interaction to make us have an appearance of normalcy but not deep or real enough to require accountability and appreciate vulnerability. While this might be the trend in the world, it must not be so among Christians, regardless of our social, economic and racial background or make-up.

Understanding the makeup of a church family

            Some of the analogies used for the church are body, building, bride and family. The gospel of Christ calls God’s enemies to turn from their stubborn and sinful rebellion to God in repentance by trusting in the finished work of Christ on the cross. Christ died and paid the penalty for sin. This salvation brings peace between God and man. It also brings us into the family of God. We are adopted and given the right to be called children of God. But God then calls us to love one another in this new family. What this means is that we selflessly care and are concerned for the welfare of others and  be willing to sacrifice for them. But it also means that we are committed to knowing and pursuing relationships with them so that we can sincerely share and have all things in common.

Understanding our vulnerability and openness in the church family

            These kinds of relationships are rich, rewarding and refreshing. They are also, messy, draining and costly. They demand hard work and selflessness. They demand that you open up and make yourself vulnerable. It demands that you are strong enough and radically transformed by grace to be willing to learn from others, even from those who are different from you. It also means that you would have to often be corrected. It will demand that you cry a lot and laugh a lot as you bear one another’s burdens. This is the essence of friendship and family. It is what the disciples shared with the Lord Jesus Christ—from the demonstration of power on the mount to the agony of Gethsemane; from the pain of betrayal, denial and abandonment, to the joy of restoration, commissioning and empowering.

Understanding the implications for ministry and missions

            Programs and projects are not an end in and of themselves. They are not our goal and they should not be our motive. Programs and projects are a means to an end. Our legacy must not be in the number of projects we completed nor the magnitude of the program we undertook. The end is making disciples (people) of all nations (tribes and tongues; people). We commit (invest and train) the things we received (from people) to others (people), who will train (invest in) others (people). The Lord is on a mission to draw a people to and for himself. He is gathering worshippers from all the nations who will worship him in spirit and in truth so that he may be glorified. Projects and programs have their place and they are useful, but they are not the mission.

            Biblical ministry and missions enterprise will pursue people and build meaningful, deep and vulnerable relationships with them. This is true regardless of the cultural and ethnic differences because the gospel takes those who have no business to be friends and makes them family (brother and sister), such that Western Christian, has more in common with an African Christian than even with a Westerner who is not a Christian. That is the power of the gospel.

            In the light of this priority, my Western friends are committed to developing genuine relationships with the locals. They gave of themselves and all they had and sometimes, awkwardly but humbly, received what the locals offered them. They have over the years developed meaningful relationships and their lives and ministries are better off for it. That is the power of the gospel. So, in the midst of awkward, difficult people and our differences, we still pursue them diligently, humbly, lovingly and patiently.  That is the power of the gospel!