Five ways you may be destroying your home

The family has been under attack from the very beginning (Gen 3). The devil and the world have always schemed to bring destruction to the homes. The schemes range from gay marriages to feminism to the disregard of parental authority to the normalizing of immorality. While enemies from without are hell bound to destroy the family, the attacks from within are more deadly. And while we should be wary and alert for the enemies attacks, we should be constantly checking to ensure we are not destroying the home from within. Here are the five ways we are in danger of destroying the home.

Absent parents                    

In an ever demanding world, busyness has become the order of the day that parenting Is often neglected. The Lord commands parents to train up children in righteousness. Training or discipleship is done through instruction and by example. That invariably implies that for training to take place time and relationships are of absolute necessity. The temptation many parents face is to get so caught up with life and work that you neglect what matters the most. I.e. parenting your children.

It will not cut for parents to pass on their responsibility to schools, the television or even the church. Parenting is one the greatest stewardship the Lord has given us and whether present or absent we are discipling our children and instilling values in them for good or bad. The parents are the shepherds, teachers, counsellors and protectors to their children. Children are a reflection of their parents.  I recently came across a quote somewhere that caught my attention it said “there is nothing worse than a man who can be everything to everybody else… except for a father to their own child”.

Entertainment addiction

In describing the mindset of most men Jim Berg says;

“… His heart is easily captured by the latest fashions, pop and reality show idols, superheroes, electronic games, sports personalities, junk foods, sexual enticements- both real and virtual, chemical stimulants- both legal and illegal and the crude and sensual humour and violence of the most popular video clips and blockbuster movies. He is easily bored and resists correction. He endures work and school as necessary evils between pursuits of pleasurable experiences offered on the midway of the world’s carnival”   

This sadly is an accurate description of our society. We are addicted to and highly influenced by the entertainment industry that we have lifted it to a place of absolute necessity. Addiction to entertainment in the home is sooner or later reflected in the moral values or lack thereof in the home. The worldview of the entertainment industry becomes the worldview of the home. Add to that a break down in meaningful communication and passivity of the mind and you have yourself a recipe for disaster.

The failure of men

Our culture blames the woman when a home breaks down and while that may be the consensus of society, God sees it differently. In God’s economy, the man is responsible. That is what headship is all about- responsibility. Now, in all honesty, it is not surprising that we place the blame elsewhere as men, after all, that is exactly what our forefather Adam did blame the woman! It is however instructive that God says through Adam (and not Eve) all men sinned (Rom 5:12-17).

Friends make no mistake, the failure of men to lead in the home always leads to its destruction. That is what happened with the Adam family (Genesis 3:1-8). It is the husbands who are tasked with leading and discipling their wives to present them holy and blameless before the Lord (Eph 5:23-32), it is the fathers who are charged with training their children in righteousness (Eph 6:4). When the shepherds of the family fail, the family fails.

The disregard for the church

The church is a safety net. In God’s economy, it is a vehicle through which His purposes are fulfilled. Families need the church. While salvation and membership are individual decisions, it is essential for the spiritual wellbeing of the families that they are healthy members of a local church. At a bare minimum part of training them up in the righteousness implies teaching them and showing them the importance of church membership.

There is a concerning trend today where parents are disregarding church and are not teaching their children the importance of belonging, serving and building relationships with other believers. It is not uncommon today for parents to leave their children at home for church meetings or attend as a whole family all together. This trend has removed the church’s safety net on a lot of families and left them exposed to an unbiblical worldview. This is then seen in the values (or lack thereof) seen in the average Christian home.

A call to do family God’s way

There is, therefore, a real need for Christians to do family God’s way. The moment we reverse or neglect our roles (husband, wife, parents, children), misplace our priorities or refuse to honour God, is the moment we sentence our homes to doom. God instituted the family and he does so with purposes and mandates. That those who are his followers will glorify him by obeying him and serving him as families. So while the world mounts its attacks on the home, let us hear the charge of God in the scriptures.