Reflecting on Wedding Committees, Contributions and Communal Living

 Zambian culture is endowed with beautiful tenets and practices that are a residue of God's common grace. These practices should, in many ways, be celebrated and embraced. We are, for instance, a culture that respects our elders, we were raised to practice hospitality and help those in need. However, with all good things involving people, abuses abound. One cultural tenet that has suffered abuse over the years is that of communal living. Particularly when it comes to weddings. Sadly, these abuses are not only true of non-believers but are becoming the norm in churches as well. 

What is communal living?

Zambians are communal people. By that we mean, no one lives in isolation. We live life in a community. We share our joys and sorrows. My neighbour's funeral is 'our' funeral. Subsequently, my neighbours' wedding is 'our' wedding. We weep together, celebrate together, fail together and succeed together. It is no wonder that we have sayings like "it takes a village to raise a child", or "manzi akapwilila nsomba nzikanla pamodzi" (when the river dries up, the fish come together). Our identity and joys are connected to our communities, and individualism is frowned upon. 

Practically, this is seen in various ways; the community will come and celebrate your birth bearing gifts and will generously offer counsel to the new mother. As you grow, they feel obligated to aid your parents in raising you. When you graduate from school, they are on hand to congratulate and celebrate with you. When you are about to marry, it is 'their' wedding! They counsel you and contribute towards the celebration, and yes, they are entitled to attend the function. In fact, in the village, the entire village owns the function and contributes. Therefore, you will have a great function with lots of people, but you do not bear the cost alone. Eventually, when you die, they are on hand to send you off and contribute to the needs of the funeral one last time.

Dangers and Abuses

With every human system, dangers abound, and people tend to abuse even the best of ideologies. One of the dangers of communal living is a false sense of entitlement that people develop. Because what is yours is mine, I have the right not only to ask but also to demand and expect you to oblige to my request. Invariably this promotes laziness in some people who think they can coast through life by riding on other people's backs. Furthermore, there is a danger when it comes to weddings of lack of planning and failing to live within their means. I find it remarkable that someone will insist on having a K 50,000 wedding when they can only afford one for K 5,000. Call it to hope; call it dreaming or blind faith, but it is abandoning all wise judgement on planning and budgeting. 

Cue in the committees and contributions. In years gone by, committees used to be the initiative of friends and family who voluntarily sought to help the couple get started in their marriage. The couple was never involved and whatever the committee gave was in addition to whatever the marrying couple had planned. The current trend is anything but voluntary, joyful assistance. You are coerced into committees even by people you last saw generations ago. Then, they demand a minimum contribution from everyone in the group. Besides, as though that is not enough, wedding invitations come with a demand for a set minimum amount of money that you are to give at the function, in essence, you buy the invitation!

Therefore, it has become common practice for people to give grudgingly in the interest of "tachimoneka bwino" (it does not look good). They have to keep up appearances for the sake of the community. Similarly, it has become common practice for people to contribute as a form of investment. They give towards a wedding so that people will give to theirs as well. In many ways, the support becomes self-serving.

Considerations 

1.       We need to radically and urgently shift our priorities about marriage and weddings. We put a lot of time, effort and resources on weddings to the neglect of the marriage. A wedding is for a day; marriage is for life. Indeed, our priorities should be on helping and preparing young couples for marriage relationships. 

2.       Families and churches need to teach the vital principle of living within your means. It is immoral for someone to want a lavish K 100,000 function when they can only afford one for K 10,000. Failure to learn this principle of contently living within your means is dangerous for life in marriage. It is usually the desire to do more than you can afford that necessitates committees and demand for contributions. 

3.       We need to remember that the essence of a gift is that it is freely given. The moment you demand and set price to it, it ceases to be a gift. 

4.       We need to be careful not to throw the baby with the bathwater. Just because abuses prevail does not mean that communal living must be shunned completely.

The Lord designed for us to live in communities. Healthy people seek and cultivate social connections and relationships. Even Christians are called to live in community; we call this the church. Healthy communities lovingly share and bear one another burdens. However, we need to be aware of the dangers and abuses that are prevalent in communal living.

COUNSEL FOR SINGLE PEOPLE SEEKING MARRIAGE

It is a challenge to get an accurate pulse on our society these days. There was a time when Zambian culture was clearly defined and easily identified. However, our society is a mixed pot of worldviews and cultural practices that it is now made up of all kinds of concoctions of principles and practices. One area in which this confusion has become clear is marriage. Gone are the days when marriage was honourable. Desiring marriage is not as commendable as it was. Many people want the glamour of the wedding but not the grind of the relationship. They desire the rewards but not the responsibility. It is such a society that most single people find themselves in. Here is some counsel to consider.

 Desiring marriage is a good thing

It is right and honourable to desire marriage. God ordained it, and it is He who created us with the desire for marriage. One ought not to be ashamed when they desire marriage. Churches and homes should encourage young people to think about and long for marriage. This encouragement should be done without putting undue pressure on them; however, they should be rightly challenged about marriage. One of the prayer points for church prayer meetings should be for suitable marriage partners for the singles in the church. 

 Pursue spiritual growth

While you desire and long for marriage, pursue spiritual growth. Invest in your holiness and walk with the Lord. Seek to know Christ and serve Him with all diligence daily. Apply yourself to the spiritual disciplines of Bible study, prayer, fasting, fellowship, evangelism, service etc. This is important because holiness is essential to a successful marriage. A marriage of two ungodly people is bound to be a miserable one. In many ways, the will of God is often revealed when we are devoted to him. The best gift you can give your future spouse is your spiritual growth. 

 Know what marriage is

Ignorance is dangerous! It is even worse when you think you know, but you do not know. Many single people think they know what marriage is and what it takes to make a marriage work. They have a view of marriage developed from popular chick flicks, soap operas and the trends on social media. However, all those are not the right sources of knowledge. Study what the Bible teaches about marriage. Read Christian books on marriage and learn from godly Christian couples.

 Be clear about your goals & standards

Set your standards, live them out and do not compromise. One has to be very clear about what they want in a marriage partner. What are the non-negotiables and negotiables? The non-negotiables should be foundational matters, a testimony of salvation, a healthy growing member of a church, a clear vision in life and a willingness to resolve conflict biblically. On such matters, there can be no compromise. Beware of majoring on the minors.

Pursue discipleship relationships

The Christian life is to be lived in community. Salvation brings us into the family of God, and that is made visible through the local church. You share life with them and help each other grow in Christ-likeness. As someone seeking marriage, consider developing relationships with some couples in your church. Learn from them, and let them provide accountability for you. This is very important. You have not walked the road of marriage before, therefore learn from those who are ahead of you. 

 Pray

Pray for the Lord to teach you joyful contentment in your singleness. Pray for your purity and endurance to fight temptation. Pray for a suitable marriage partner and wait patiently. Ask others to pray with you and for you.

 Marriage is good, and those who long for it desire a good thing. However, marriage though beautiful is not a walk in the park. It takes work, patience, humility and grace to make it beautiful. It is, therefore, important that those who desire marriage are well prepared for it.

Four Misconceptions about Church Discipline

 

One of the misunderstood teachings in the Bible is the subject of church discipline. There are several reasons for this including wrong teaching on the subject, wrong practices in our churches, immaturity, and cultural influences. However, though often painful and heartbreaking, church discipline as taught in the Scriptures is good and healthy. With all good things practised by sinful people, mistakes and misconceptions will abound. Here are four common misconceptions about church discipline.

It is only punitive and negative

            Ask a group of Christians if they have ever undergone church discipline and awkwardness immediately fills the room. This is because church discipline is viewed as negative and punitive. In fact, the whole concept of discipline needs redeeming in our culture. People hear discipline and horrific experiences of corporal punishment from school or some brutal parental exhibition of anger flood their memories. If it is not a punitive action, then what is church discipline? In practising church discipline, the church is protecting the name of Jesus by intentionally ensuring they (together) live out the truth of the gospel. When thinking of church discipline, we should think of training one another (in the idea of schools at University) and maintaining order in the church (the idea of raising children). This is both formative instruction (Romans 15:14) and corrective, restoring one who has strayed from the instructions (1Corinthians 5:1-11).

It is unloving

            The common belief is that whoever disciplines, corrects, or points out your sins is your enemy.             Our warped view of love is that whoever loves you will support you and cover for your sins. Hence, the practice of church discipline as taught in the Scriptures is counter-cultural. It goes against the fibre of our thinking. To point out the sins of a brother (Matthew 18:15-18) is considered uncaring. Our culture would rather you leave the person wallowing in their sins to their ruin. Now that is the very definition of unloving! Hebrews 12 teaches us that one act of God’s love is the discipline of His children. Friends who support and condone your sinful and foolish choices and actions in the name of love are wolves in sheepskin. They will “love” you to your ruin. They do not care about your soul and would rather let you live a life that does not honour Christ.

It should only be practised on the big and harmful sins

            One prevailing misconception is that only big and harmful sins should be confronted and dealt with. Sexual sin resulting in pregnancy, theft of church monies, and murder to mention only three. Whether the person is repentant or not, commit any of these and you are gone! This is because in African culture, sin is what offends and brings shame to the community and not necessarily going against the teachings of Scripture. Therefore, confronting someone about his or her greed, gossip or lying is considered as being overly difficult. So people will stubbornly and unrepentantly hold on to their sins and not be confronted and disciplined because the sins are considered small.

It should be practised by the elders

            Another misconception is that the elders are the ones who carry out discipline. Therefore, the common practice is that when brother A finds out that brother C is living in unconfessed sin, they will tell elder D to go and confront brother C. Further, it is common practice in churches for the elders to simply inform the members that brother C has been excommunicated. While this is convenient, it does two things. One, it undermines the authority and responsibility of the congregation. The authority to excommunicate an unrepentant member lies with the congregation (Matthew 18: 17-20, 1 Corinthians 5:1-11) and so does the responsibility to confront an erroring brother. The other problem with the misconception is that it turns elders into investigators in the church, who are always chasing up what A said about C and seeking to gather evidence of whether it is true or not.

Conclusion

            These misconceptions make the practice of church discipline extremely difficult in the church. A proper understanding of the gospel and its demands on the believer as well as a biblical understanding of the church is imperative if we are to practice healthy church discipline. The Christian life is radical; it calls for transformation. The Christian life is also a corporate one. It is a group of people coming together helping each other become more like Christ.

Aware but not Prepared

The cold winds of July are upon us. And if you have lived long enough on earth, this was not a surprise, it is the typical July/August weather in Zambia, beautiful clear blue skies, constant pounding winds. It is the seasonal cycles of life that we have experienced for years. However, have you noticed how that despite the knowledge and experience of the seasons, we are still caught by surprise and often unprepared? We react the same way with all the seasons, cold, hot, dry and rainy.

I think of two reasons why this is so. The first is a simple fact that it is one thing to know and another experience. You know the cold winds are coming; it is another matter feeling the impact when they pierce your spine in manner ways that is true of other aspects of life. We are all aware of the challenges, pain, joys and struggles that life brings but knowing is one thing, experiencing them is another. When the seasons come in our lives, we are often surprised and unprepared. 

The second reason is that we have short memories. We easily forget what it feels like to experience the weather patterns. When it is cold, we want it to be hot, and when it is hot, we are desperate for the cold. We somehow suffer from selective amnesia. Again, that is precisely what we do with different spheres of life. When we are single we desire to be married, when marriage comes, we cry for singlehood, we pray for children and when the Lord blesses we wish we were free of them. Some are desperate for jobs but want out the moment they step in. We forget quickly, and as a result, we take our seasons for granted. 

Thankfully, our good Father, in His loving wisdom knows the seasons that we need and ordains them as

such (Ecc 3:1-11). Seasons come and seasons go, but He never changes, He is the one constant in this ever-changing life. So when you are perplexed by the seasons you are going through, remember that God 

“makes everything beautiful in His time” (Ecc 3:11).

So, enjoy and make the most of the season you are in, it is not by chance and keep warm.

SIX REASONS WHY DOCTRINE IS IMPORTANT TO THE CHURCH

The anti-doctrine squad comes in all shapes and sizes. They never seem to give up on their cause to hound out doctrine in the corridors of the church. Their slogans are a number: “No creed but the bible,” “do not give me doctrine just give me Jesus,” “I am not a theologian but a Biblicist,” and so on and so forth. One can sympathize with the heart behind some of these statements. However, no matter the good intentions, they still reveal a faulty and logically inconsistent perception of the Christian faith and reasoning. Granted, the ivory tower theologians whose theologizing is simply for the classroom and not the pews have not helped the situation. They have succeeded in becoming doctrine scarecrows in churches. It needs to be stated, however, that doctrine is important to the growth and health of the church. Let me offer six reasons why.

DOCTRINE BUILDS LOVE IN THE CHURCH

Doctrine is the truth about the triune God as taught in the Scriptures. To know doctrine is to know God and to grow in your love for God. The commandments are summed up in the word love: Love God and love others (Deuteronomy 6:4). “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8).  

DOCTRINE UNITES THE CHURCH

A group of people that believe the same truth and are devoted to loving God and others with all that they are and all that they have will invariably be a united group. Some people are of the mind that churches should hold to the bare minimum in order to build unity because doctrine divides. However, when a group of people are grounded in doctrine, they are united in Christ and are no longer tossed about by every wind of doctrine (Ephesians 4).

DOCTRINE PRODUCES HUMILITY IN THE CHURCH

Doctrine is instructive and reveals the nature and work of the triune God. When a church is exposed to the splendour, majesty, power, and glory of God, they are left in awe of who He is and respond in humility (Isaiah 6:1-9, 40:13-31, Psalm 8). True knowledge of God strips away every residue of pride and arrogance.

DOCTRINE CALLS FOR OBEDIENCE FROM THE CHURCH

God calls His people to love Him, and one way they will show their love is by devoting themselves to the book of the law daily (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Jesus Christ says if you love me you will keep my commandments (John 14:15). A church grounded in doctrine is a church that will lovingly obey the Lord. Theology is not a cold pursuit of facts, but a red-hot pursuit of the living God. It is a longing to know God and obey Him like a deer pants for water. In addition, this pursuit affects every sphere of our lives.

DOCTRINE EVOKES WORSHIP IN THE CHURCH

One indicator of whether one’s pursuit of doctrine is based in the right motives is whether or not it leads to worship. A right pursuit of doctrine leads to a worshipful heart. Be wary of doctrinal studies, teachings or conversations that do not leave you amazed at the power, wisdom and glory of the triune God (Romans 11:33).

DOCTRINE PROTECTS THE CHURCH

Doctrine puts fences around the church. It is a safeguard against error and false teaching. A church grounded in sound doctrine is equipped to live the truth and defend the truth. A church that does not pay attention to doctrine, and a church without people who know and love doctrine, is a church that will be led astray and swayed by every wind of false doctrine. It will also be a church that will be characterised by divisions and infighting (Ephesians 4:12-16).

Conclusion

Healthy churches love doctrine and are grounded in it. A right pursuit of doctrine will lead to love, humility, unity, worship, obedience and the safety of the church. Dear Christian pursue sound doctrine.

On Being A Father:The Greatest Responsibility

 NOTE: This week's blog is written by my good friend Sandala Mwanje. Please enjoy!

I have many responsibilities in life, but being a dad is by far the greatest, most challenging, and most joyful of all my responsibilities. In my view, being a father is the role that most mimics the character of God. It’s, therefore, the highest calling that any son of man may be called to. By the way, The New Testament’s favourite description of God is “God the Father.”

You see, in any other role, you can finish your workday, take a day off, take leave, resign or retire, but not in your role as a father. Being a father is 24/7, a full-time job, with no salary, and no retirement. Fathers are essential workers.

In discussing fatherhood, the Bible sort of assumes that we know something about what it means to have a father, and rightly so, for we all spring from fathers. Therefore, sometimes the Bible draws illustrations from this earthly relationship to show us what is true about God the Father. To truly understand fatherhood, you can’t end with the example of an earthly father. If you do, you are starting from too low, and consequently aiming too low! To understand fatherhood, begin from God the Father. At its core, earthly fatherhood is derived from heavenly fatherhood.

If we begin from God the Father, we will see our blessedness, our weaknesses, and our need for daily grace. So, what are the biblical traits of a father?

Source

It means to bring into being. A father gives life, just as God is the ultimate Father of all creation. Paul states this truth this way, “Being then God's offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man” (Acts 17:29). The Bible traces one’s being from fatherhood.

If you have fathered a child, responsibility for that child is non-negotiable. Neglect of this duty is a grave sin! Neglect in this matter is one that is so UNLIKE God. Fatherhood as the “source” also means constantly giving. It is “a righteous man that leaves an inheritance for his children.” (Pro 13:22)

To Be There

The term “absentee father,” is a contradiction of terms. To be a father is to be around. To be a father is to be there as a provider, protector, and guide. Consider Job 29:16, “I was a father to the needy, and I searched out the cause of him whom I did not know.” Also consider Job 31:18, “for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother's womb I guided the widow.”

“Being there” is the essence of the father/child relationship! A father must walk with his children, and he must be around whenever he is needed.

Compassionate

Fathers know how weak and prone to wander their kids are. Thus, there is an absolute necessity for compassion! In the most critical of situations, the world’s love for you will have a limit, but a father’s love is limitless. Consider what the Psalmist is saying here, “As a father shows compassion to his children, So the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103: 13-14)

Authority

As a basic building block of society, “a father is the final authority in the child’s life. As a result, the Bible is categorically clear on the need to respect and honour your father and mother. Consider what Jesus says and means here, “He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” (Acts 1:7)Therefore, the only answer expected from the child is, “Yes dad!”

It is this authority that establishes the father’s right to discipline his children. Consider what the Bible is saying on this, “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? (Hebrews 12:7-9).

When fathers give up their God-given authority, parenting becomes impossible! This authority must be established the very moment a father learns he’s going to be a father!

Comforter

Contrary to popular belief, a father is a figure of comfort. When life’s storms and winds blow, a child should run to the father and not run away from the father. Consider this trait about God the Father, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort (2Corinthias 1:3).

In the parable of the Lost Son, the son considered running back to his father’s house! Why? He knew and was assured of his father’s compassion. Am I such a father to my children?

Aims For The Uttermost Good, And Wellbeing of His Children

God the Father sought for our highest good and wellbeing when he gave us His son, Jesus Christ, to free us from sin. Here is how the apostle Paul puts it, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3).

The Bible assumes and expects that fathers would seek their children’s highest good in all things (spiritually, morally, educationally)!

Conclusion

This past Sunday was “Father’s Day,” a day that may end with gifts and appreciation. As good as these things may be, it is imperative for us to have a long term and foundational understanding of what it means to be a father. Society today is bleeding at every level, largely because of father failures. To fix society, we must first of all, fix fathers.

Young Women and Misplaced Priorities

To say society is chaotic is an understatement. Chaos often begins in the mind before it eventually translates into the way of living. The push from the fallen world order is to undo and attack God’s order and design. One issue of note is the identity and role of women in society. Much has been said on this issue, and to say that there is an agenda from the discussion is an understatement. There is so much confusion that it is hard to find a clear definition of a woman. One result of the confusion is the rise of misplaced priorities among young women. The misplaced priorities are seen in several areas in life, and one such area is regarding relationships. Here are three results of misplaced priorities in relationships.

Misplaced priorities lead to wrong decisions

Young Christian women, who prioritize the wrong things, end up making wrong decisions. How many times have we seen a seemingly sober and godly young lady get involved with the worst of young men and their life ends up ruined? There used to be a time when Christian young women were clear and objective about what they wanted from a young man. Godly character, commitment to the local church, and a clear vision in life were top on the list. Sadly today, torn jeans, a funny accent, a six-pack and Netflix are all a chap needs. As a result, you end up with vision-less relationships, frustrated souls and broken marriages. Dear Christian young women do not set standards on fleeting things. Look for proven character, unwavering commitment and a clear vision.

Misplaced priorities lead to wrong expectations

When the standards are wrong, the decisions will be wrong and so will the expectations. People who have the wrong standards will invariably have wrong expectations. As a result, we have young women who are content with a vision-less young man and relationship. The issue is not that our young women demand and expect too much; the issue is that they have set their standards too low. Rather than expecting weightier matters of godliness, character and vision, they have contented themselves with mundane issues like the shape of the body and sound of the voice. Sadly, it is not uncommon for a godly young woman to stick with an ungodly young man simply because he bought her flowers and chocolate. Shallow standards lead to shallow expectations.

Misplaced priorities lead to a frustrated life

The result of all this is frustration. Frustrated and hurting young women are all around us. Moreover, in all fairness, it is true that the church and the homes have shortchanged them in that they have not properly discipled the young men. So at times, it is a choice between the bad and the worst. For this, we must lament. However, the misplaced priorities of the young women have compounded the problem. They have the wrong standards, which leads to wrong decisions and wrong expectations, hence the constant frustrations. Sadly, this translates into marriage; is it any wonder that some homes are full of frustration and misery?

What is the remedy?

Discipleship in the home and in the church is the remedy, older women teaching and modelling what biblical womanhood is (Titus 2). This trend of only talking to young people when there is a problem or when they are about to get married is clearly not working. It is high time the parents and the church wake up from their slumber and repent of this neglect of duty. To any young Christian woman reading this, pursue a discipleship relationship with a godly mature Christian woman.

The Rise of the Indecisive Man

In years past, courage was an honoured virtue. Courage and honour went hand in hand. We hear and read of men named, Richard the Lionheart and books titled Captain Courageous and The Red Badge of Courage. We look back to the warriors of Sparta and the medieval knights who were epitomized by courage and chivalry. While we often think of courage in terms of extraordinary actions, we all need courage on a daily basis for the normal, everyday actions. 

One aspect of courage is the willingness to make decisive decisions and the readiness to face the ensuing consequences.  Hence, the rise of the indecisive man in our society is a source of concern. It is revealing some of the underlying problems in our society. Gone are the days when courage, conviction and decisiveness were basic requirements for men. We now live in a society that exalts stuntmen and entertainers who are more concerned with their public image than their moral fibre; their moral convictions are always in line with the popular trend of the day. So what is wrong with the indecisive man?

Indecision reveals lack of direction
Men who do not know where they are coming from and where they are going are bound to be indecisive. They do not know who they are and what they want. They keep talking of finding themselves, and they keep changing what they want to do in life. Is it any wonder that some men seem to be in a perpetual mid-life crisis from their early 20s. They cannot settle on career direction and neither do they seem to settle on a marriage partner. A man who is not set on the direction he will take will be indecisive in life choices. 

Indecision reveals a lack of conviction

Further, indecision reveals a lack of conviction. A man who lacks direction will invariably be devoid of conviction. He does not know what he stands for, and as a result, he struggles to commit and make bold choices. This is particularly true in relationships. There was a time when young men pursued young women with every ounce of skill and every weapon in their arsenal. They were diligent and direct. They were clear about their intentions and wary of others making a move before them. In many ways, that is part of biblical manhood. Sadly, there is a breed of young men who have the spirit of hovering without stating intentions, of “maybe” and “I am finding myself.” Hence, the spirit of “it’s complicated” has become the new normal. Moreover, by the time people are getting married, they have left a trail of scarred hearts. Dear Christian men, act like men and do all in love (1 Corinthians 16:13).

Indecision reveals a proud heart

Cowardly men do not want to learn, and they do not want to fail. They do not know, and they do not want anyone to know of their ignorance. Therefore, they cowardly choose to do nothing. They want a 100 per cent guarantee before they can do anything. This is often masked as caution and wisdom, but in many ways, it is an unwillingness to fail. They quietly harbour ambitions of being perfect. Sadly, in their quest to be perfect, they never make any decisions.

In a society devoid of assertive, humble and courageous men, we need the Christian men to rise to the occasion. We need men who are clear about their direction and convictions. We need men who are not afraid to make decisions. Men who are not afraid to admit when they make wrong decisions. Men who are not scared to face the consequences of their actions. We need courageous men, who will humbly take a stand!

A Snapshot of a Healthy

The church is a family, comprised of people from all walks of life, saved by the same grace of God through Christ. These people then choose to live and work together for the cause of Christ and the glory of God in unity of purpose. In the closing chapter of Romans, Paul shares his heart to the church. In the first 16 verses, he greets, commends and sends love to the brethren and from the brethren. In so doing he gives us a snapshot of the church.   

THE CHURCH IS THE PEOPLE

He mentions 33 names in 24 verses, two households and there those whose names are not mentioned.  Each of these are quietly and faithfully doing their duty and building relationships. They served, they suffered, and they loved. This is a helpful reminderthat the church is the people, not the programs, building, or necessarily the meetings as helpful as those are. In an ever program-minded society we have to remind ourselves of this truth: the church is the people. 

THE CHURCH IS MADE UP OF ORDINARY PEOPLE 

In the same vein, we also need to remember that the church is made up of ordinary people. It is easy to read the accounts of Scripture and think the people in the Bible were extra-ordinary. But in reality, they were ordinary people doing ordinary things. The church is made up of ordinary people, faithfully and consistently doing ordinary things, in ordinary ways, enabled by the extraordinary grace of God. Dear Christian, do not despise the ordinary.

THE CHURCH IS MADE UP OF DIVERSE PEOPLE

These ordinary people in the church are from different cultural backgrounds, religious influences, and different social economic statutes and in different seasons of life. Pursuing unity does not mean we should all be the same. We need to learn to embrace and appreciate diversity. If we are to build one another up, we definitely need to remember that God does not intend to just call people from our tribe but from all tongues, tribes and nations. Unity is best appreciated in the midst diversity. 

THE CHURCH IS MEANT TO DEEPEN RELATIONSHIPS

As diverse and ordinary people choose to live and work together in Christ, the need to develop genuine, growing relationships is ever urgent. If we are to grow in love, minister to one another through the use of our gifts, exercise hospitality and bear with one another, relationships need to be present. Every Christian needs to be intentional in developing relationships with their church family. 

Our world is individualistic and consumer driven. Therefore, when we think of the church we often think buildings, projects and programs. We also think what this church can offer my family and me. It is easy for the Christian to also be sucked into that mindset. However, we need to remember that the church is made up of ordinary people pursuing meaningful relationships as they worship and serve their Lord.

Why We Do Not Encourage Others

We are called to encourage one another. The church should be a fountain flowing with praise and commendation toward one another. A fire not flamed goes out. A relationship devoid of encouragement dies slowly and painfully. A deficiency in encouragement coupled with a surplus of corrections and criticism makes for toxic and rotten relationships. The Bible exhorts us to spur one another to good works through encouragement (Heb. 10:24-25), to protect one another from the deceit of sin by means of encouragement (Heb. 3:13) and to build one another up through exhortation (1 Thess. 5:11). That said, encouragement does not come easily, and here are four reasons why courtesy of our church family zoom discussion.

Not thinking it is important

There are times when we think giving words of praise or commendation is not essential. We assume people know we are grateful for their efforts. We think “they know I appreciate them, and besides, I said it last year!” We need to remember that the Scriptures admonish us to keep encouraging one another. If we are going to be guilty of anything, it should be for over encouraging.

Lack of meaningful relationships

Encouragement and criticism are easier to give and to receive in the context of ongoing meaningful relationships. The absence of such relationships can make giving praise hard and awkward for some. It is, therefore, not surprising that only the people we are close to are the recipients of our praises.

Pride in the recipient

It is painful to give encouragement or commend a proud person. Part of the reason we struggle to urge each other on is that we are already big-headed and full of ourselves. Sometimes this pride is seen in how we struggle to simply and humbly acknowledge commendation from others on some excellent work or virtue in our lives. The recipient’s pride is a hindrance to the ministry of encouragement.

Pride in the encourager

We envy and harbour jealousy because we are self-centred and proud. We do not rejoice when we see some good in others, and we are sad when we see God’s grace in the lives of our neighbours. It is this deep-seated pride that stops us from saying ‘thank you’, ‘that was a good job’, ‘the Lord is using you’, ‘you are talented or gifted’, ‘you are good at this’, ‘you are an encouragement’, ‘you handled that well’, ‘your Christlikeness is a blessing’ etc. Pride would rather, receive the praise, the recognition, the commendation. Pride is too preoccupied with self to see what God is doing in the lives of others.

Commending the grace of God in people and urging those who are following and serving the Lord is an honourable, humbling and yet pleasurable experience. God is not simply working in your life; He is at work in the life of others as well. Take note of that and say it. It is not just good manners; it is building up the body! May we develop reputations for being encouraging.

Three Guiding Principles in Times of Uncertainty

Every week on Saturday morning, I meet with a group of men for prayer. It has been an enriching experience in many ways. This past week one of the brothers shared three biblical principles with us as a way of encouraging us to navigate the times we are living in. Here are the three truths for your encouragement.

1.      Be careful who you listen to

There is so much that is being said: some good, some bad, some true and some false. When there is a crisis, and there is a lot of uncertainty, what and who you listen to may determine how you handle yourself and may influence your perspective on matters. In Psalm one, the contrast between the wicked man and the righteous man boils down to who and what they listen to. There are voices you should block out and their people who should not have your audience. But just as important as listening to the right voices in our lives. Bad company corrupts, that is not only true for teenagers, but it is also true of adults. Be careful who you listen to, during these times. 

2.      Do not stop working hard

Yes, there are uncertainties. Several issues should be a source of concern for all of us, politically, economically, socially and spiritually. However, we should be wary of the paralysis of analysis. Our fears should not cripple us and plunge us into inactivity. Some respond to a crisis by panicking and overreact, and others are gripped with fear and stop functioning.  Ecclesiastes (11:3-4) warns us of the danger of waiting for ‘our’ ideal time to act and looking to signs before fulfilling our responsibility. Do what you need to do and do it faithfully and diligently. 

3.      Trust in the Lord

Thy that trust in the Lord are not moved or shaken. Their anchor is cast firmly deep in the steadfast love of the Lord. The storms of life hit them, but they are unwavering, they keep their eyes on the Lord. It’s easy to trust in God when all is well. It is a different ball game, on the other hand, to believe in the wisdom, love and power of God when life is in disarray. It is in the moment of crisis that our beliefs are tested and exposed. Heed the admonishment of scripture, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path (Pro 3:5-6).

So, whatever situation you are in and whatever is going in your life. Whatever you decide to do or not to do. Make sure you carefully chose who you listen to, keep working hard and trust in the Lord your God. And we can be confident of this one thing, that the Lord will direct our ways.

Why we don’t evangelize

I may be wrong, but chances are most Christians will agree that we are supposed to evangelize. The Lord’s final words were in essence marching orders (Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8). The Bible compels us to tell others about the gospel of Jesus Christ which is the power of God to salvation (Romans 1:16). Yet, with all this truth in mind, our gospel proclamation is not what it should. We know we should evangelize, but we do not, and we often excuse, justify or rationalize why we do not tell our unbelieving loved ones and strangers about the gospel. Let me suggest five reasons why we do not evangelize.

We are afraid God will have compassion

This may seem strange, but we are sometimes guilty of Jonah’s attitude and fear. Jonah resisted going to proclaim repentance to Ninevah because he feared the Lord would have compassion and save them from their sins. We like Jonah know the power of the gospel and the heart of God to save sinners, but sadly we have a prejudice towards sinners that, if we were honest, we do not desire for them to be saved.

We are not persuaded of the sinfulness of the people

We believe people are bad and no one is perfect. Moreover, we may even use the word sinner, but we are not convinced of the hopelessness and helplessness of those who do not believe. We have been conditioned to think lightly of the wickedness of man. In fact, we blame people’s sinfulness on culture, circumstances and their relationships. In addition, because of this deficiency in our view of the sinfulness of people, we do not see the urgent need of the gospel. We are not compelled to plead with people to be reconciled to God.

We cannot clearly state the gospel

We have heard the gospel mentioned hundreds of times. We claim to believe it, but many evangelicals cannot clearly articulate what the gospel is. Invariably we are hesitant to tell people about it. Are you able to explain the gospel when called upon without planning? Can you summarize it in a minute or two?

We doubt the wrath of God

Do you believe in hell? Are you convinced that non-believers are under the wrath of God (Ephesians 2:3)? Part of the urgency of the gospel is the miserable condition that unbelievers are in and the sentence of judgement from God which is upon them. When we doubt the wrath of God, we lose the urgency of the gospel. 

We are too preoccupied with self

Many things preoccupy our attention. In addition, they seem more important and urgent. We have family, school, work and social responsibilities and commitments. Intentionally talking to people about the gospel is simply not high on the priority list or that important and urgent. 

So what is a Christian to do in light of these truths? For starters, it is clear evangelizing does not come accidentally; it calls for a deliberate effort on our part. Let me offer five ways we can cultivate a heart for evangelism. 

1.      Pray for the salvation of the lost with fellow Christians. 

2.      Apply the gospel in your life on a daily basis; the transforming power of the gospel should be evident in your life. 

3.      Talk about the power and impact of the gospel in your life with fellow believers. 

4.      Practice hospitality and invite people into your home with the goal of talking about the gospel with them. 

5.      Seize opportunities and be willing to take risks for the sake of the gospel. 

Facing a task unfinished

That drives us to our knees

A need that, undiminished

Rebukes our slothful ease

We, who rejoice to know Thee

Renew before Thy throne

The solemn pledge we owe Thee

To go and make Thee known[1]

---

[1]               https://store.gettymusic.com/us/song/facing-a-task-unfinished-song/

10 Traits of a Godly Man

A lot is said of what it means to be a man in our times. In addition, it seems to me with each passing year there is a growing despise for men or manly qualities. There also seems to be a decline of men with manly qualities. However, the Scriptures couldn’t be more emphatic in its call and demand of men. Be on alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love (1 Corinthians 16:13-14). This past week I asked a group of men in our church to give a portrait of a godly man. Here are their ten traits with their one-sentence descriptions.

Relational: A godly man relates with others by accepting, forgiving, encouraging and admonishing them (Rom. 15:7)

Bold: A godly man takes a stand for his beliefs and is not ashamed of them (Prov. 28.1)

Responsible: A godly man takes responsibility for his actions without explanations or justification (Exodus 32:15-35)

Courageous: A godly man is willing to risk injury or insult to protect the vulnerable and to stand for the truth (Ps. 82:3)

Leads: A godly man leads the way and leads by example. If it means saying sorry when necessary he must do so. He leads his family spiritually. (Eph. 5:23-25)

Selfless: A godly man puts the interest of others first by serving them sacrificially. (Phil 2: 5-10)

Self-controlled: A godly man has the Spirit’s fruit of discipline over his appetites and temperament (Gal. 5:22-24)

Prayerful: A godly man prays confessing sin, confessing faith in God and dependence upon Him, sorrowing over sin and making resolution against it. (1 Tim 2:8)

Provides and Protects: A godly man labours to provide for the needs of those under his care and is alert to protect them spiritually, physically and emotionally. (1 Tim. 5:8; Prov. 4:10-15)

Fears God: A godly man fears God. This make s all other traits possible. (Prov. 1:7)

Biblical manhood is a high and hard calling. At its heart are the expectations to lovingly lead, selflessly provide and courageously protect those who are our relations and under our care. This is only possible by the grace that God provides, and Christ is our example. Dear Christian men, act like men, be strong!

Five Lessons from the Crisis

The COVID-19 crisis has been with us for a while now. It has wreaked havoc and changed the way we live our lives albeit temporarily. Like every crisis, it has evoked a wide range of reactions throughout the world. Every challenge comes with opportunities, and in this case, we have many lessons to learn. Let me propose five lessons we can learn from the COVID-19 crisis.

1. We are not in control

It is remarkable to think of the number of people and organizations, small and great, whose plans have been shattered. Events and programs that took years to plan for and that cost enormous amounts of money, in an instant, have been called off. If ever there was an illustration of how man is not in control of his affairs, COVID-19 is exhibit A. Hence, the Bible admonishes us in James 4 that our plans are subject to the will of Almighty God. If any among us was beginning to think highly of himself, this is coming as a much-needed dose of humility.

 2. We are fragile

The Bible reminds us of the frailty and brevity of our lives. It does not take much for us to lose the life we have now. We are here today, and we are a memory tomorrow. Thousands of lives have in the last four months gone just like that. They no doubt had plans and dreams, but they are no more. Dear Christian, what is your life? It is here today and gone tomorrow. 

3. We should seize opportunities 

The frailty and uncertainty of life should propel us to seize the opportunities. We cannot afford to live life with the handbrake on. It is pointless to go through the years and end up with lots of regrets. Tomorrow is not a guarantee; soon, our day will come when we breathe our last; our desire must be to hear these words “well done good and faithful servant.”  Until then, seize every minute you get to labour for your master. 

4. We should be responsible 

We are not in control, but that does not negate responsibility. We do not live in fear, but we should not be careless either. This period calls for us to evaluate our habits and observe some basic hygiene. We should take care of ourselves but also look out for our neighbour. That is called responsibility. The biblical principle is stewardship. May we be found faithful. 

5.  We should not despair 

A crisis is an opportunity to have our faith tested. It reveals what we believe, and in whom we trust. It shows us where one’s anchor lies. Many have responded to this crisis with fear and anxiety, and that soon leads to despair, a state of hopelessness. Yes, there is a pandemic, and we need to take it seriously, but no, we do not need to despair. We trust in God and commit the circumstances into his hands, and that is our source of comfort and assurance. 

What lessons have you learnt in the last few months? Do not waste this crisis. Make the most of it by learning as much as you can and seizing the opportunities.