There are endless discussions about marriage in the church
and the culture around us. Different voices try to answer questions like the
purpose and meaning of marriage, the roles in marriage, the secrets to a happy
marriage etc. it is safe to say that we are generally in love with the concept
of marriage, but we are not quite up for the challenge and the hard work that
marriage requires. Many of us have been primarily influenced by the fairy tale
stories of marriage and the Hollywood fictional portraits of undisturbed bliss
and unceasing romance in marriage.
Knowing the hard work marriage requires and the many lessons
people learn in marriage, sometimes the lessons are learnt the hard way, I
asked a group of couples to share one lesson they have learnt in their
marriage. Here are the 15 lessons the couples shared.
1. I
have learnt to love unconditionally irrespective of the situation
2. I have learnt to consciously
remember that my husband and I are on the same team whatever game life brings
along
3. I
have learnt to be more gracious in speech, attitudes and deeds towards my
spouse knowing that God has been too gracious to me as well.
4. I
have learnt to be patient and tolerant.
5. Admitting
and confessing my wrongs - Admitting my imperfections does not mean am a failure,
but means that I am human and willing to accept my humanity which leads to a
growing marriage.
6. I
have learnt that communication is key - once there is good, honest, timely
communication in a marriage, a lot of misunderstandings are avoided.
7. To
be humble and honest
8. To
be accountable fully and entirely in everything to another person.
9. I
have learnt to forgive my friend as Christ has forgiven me, for we are both
sinners and imperfect.
10. To maintain a deep love and underlying
connection with each other despite surface differences or disagreements.
(Staying on the same team no matter what).
11. I have learned to practice forgiveness
towards my spouse and using prayer as one way of resolving issues in a godly
manner.
12. Privately praying for him and praying
and studying God's word together helps us to grow together.
13. To communicate with each other openly
when there is a conflict and to not delay that communication, even when the
issue might seem small.
14. I've learnt that a disagreement (no
matter how huge) doesn't have to mean the marriage has ended. You can argue and
still work things out & live happily thereafter.
15. I have learnt never to forget that my
wife and I are redeemed sinners prone to wonder. This helps me to learn to
forgive and forbear with her wrongs.
What are your lessons?
What are your lessons?
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